Lenten Reflection 3/11

So last night my family completed our week long "Solidarity Fast".  We limited our food budget for the week to only $4 per person per day, which is what most people on food stamps have to work with.  So last Sunday night we headed off to the grocery store with $112 in hand to buy all our food for the week.  We cleared out the top shelf of the fridge and one corner of the counter top and put all the food we got in those two places.  The rest of the fridge and the pantry were off limits for the week.

I've got to say that we ended up eating plenty of food.  It just was very different food than we normally eat.  I can't say any of us felt hungry, but we didn't always feel satisfied - especially on an emotional level.  As the week went on, we worried a bit that maybe our supplies would run out but this ended up being a groundless fear.  There were plenty of  apples, potatoes and peanut butter - therefore, plenty of calories -  left after Sunday supper.


I read an article last week that advocated that Lenten disciplines should be quite challenging in order to really stir and wake you up.  This fast was challenging.  It was challenging to sit down last Sunday and plan out a list of meals we thought might fit our budget.  It was challenging to shop and match our plans with the reality of how much money we actually had.  It was challenging to be creative with our few ingredients and combine them into unified meals.  It was challenging not having our usual favorite foods and food treats around.  It was most challenging to really feel just a taste of what those who rely on food stamps feel all the time - and to realize that while we experienced it as a challenging fast for a week, for millions of Americans it's not a fast - it's just the day to day reality.

I used to run a restaurant.  I'm good at making a meal out of next to nothing.  I know how to cook wholesome beans and grains from scratch.  As a former holistic health practitioner, I know a lot about nutrition.  I was well equipped to make the most out of this week.  Though the prices were a bit higher, we opted to do all our shopping at the grocery store that is 1/4 mile from our house even though there are cheaper grocery stores further down the road, because having to get supplies locally is part of many people's reality.  We made it work.  But all week I kept thinking about those people who have only some little convenience store nearby where the food is more expensive and less nutritious.  I thought about the people who are working 2 or 3 jobs and don't have time to cook or don't know how to cook or just don't know all that much about nutrition.  What on earth do they end up eating for only $4 a day? 

It was interesting to note that I found myself far more interested in free food opportunities last week than I usually am.  For example, someone brought clementines to my al-anon meeting and I ate 5 of them.  (fresh fruit!) At our vestry retreat, where we were supposed to bring our own lunch, I brought some rice and frozen cauliflower with me (with some of our precious cheese on it - the most costly item we had purchased ) but I was really happy that someone had brought veggie and fruit trays, as well as my favorite kind of potato chips.  There was a potluck lunch at church on Sunday as our unified meals were running out.  I realized how finding free food opportunities is an important part of many people's calculus in making it through the week.

Last night at supper, we talked together about how the experience had been.  The boys claimed that it was really no different than usual except that they got to eat more of what they like - tons of spaghetti.  They got to have the "treat" of having ramen noodles for after school snacks.  They got to have school lunches all week because we figured people on food stamps can get free lunches for their kids.  No healthy bagged lunches, no stupid green smoothies in the morning, no half the plate covered with steamed vegetables in the evening.  From their perspective, they had plenty of food, which is as usual. 

But since they were included in the week's menu planning and shopping they remained well aware of the tally we were keeping on the counter as we used up our last dollars as the week drew to a close.  The boys were the ones most often asking whether I thought we might run out of food.  They did recognize that something was different and it had something to do with feeling confident in your food supply.  They may have said they'd like to eat this way every week, but they missed their meat.  And they missed having pizza at choir rehearsal because we didn't have the $5 per boy to chip in.  We had no desserts in the house.  The food was filling but it was boring, and I'm sure week after week even these pasta hounds would get sick of so much  plain spaghetti with sauce. 

Neither my husband nor I had what we wanted to eat.  As a meat and potato man, Steve didn't get what he most enjoys, nor did he get the portion sizes he usually eats.  He lost weight.  As a gluten free vegetarian, I got plenty of foods I enjoy - split pea soup, bean chili, brown rice, peanut butter.  But this is much heavier fare than I'm used to eating three times a day.  No salads, no healthy smoothies for breakfast, no fresh veggies at all - only frozen, and only apples and a few bananas for fruit (usually slathered in peanut butter!)  I gained weight even though I couldn't afford any gluten free bread or pasta alternatives. 

I think I can speak for both of us when I say we felt our gratitude deepen for our food.  Yes, our calorie levels were definitely affected by this fast, but we were affected most of all by the disruptions we noticed in our emotional and mental attachments to food.  We recognized with stark clarity that we normally simply feel entitled to eat whatever we want whenever we want it.  I normally eat for pleasure, nutrition and taste, and I shop accordingly.  Last week, nutrition took the clear top billing and I had to consider first which items contained the most nutrition per dollar.  Taste came only second and pleasure was hardly an issue.  I made simple, nutritious food.  And we ate when we were hungry - not whenever we felt like enjoying a little something.  And during the fast we felt - literally in the gut - the sad and disturbing fact that thousands of people, even within a small radius of our own home, don't have access to such entitlement. 

When Jesus is in our midst, there is enough food for everyone with plenty left over.  Food is a gift from God and as Jesus' disciples, we are called to feed those who are hungry.  I go back to eating as I usually do today, while people just down the road - or even just around the corner - are eating a bowl of rice or instant oatmeal just to fill their bellies or going to a soup kitchen tonight to eat pasta and day old pastries.  Like the Israelites Jeremiah was warning about the wrath to come - when we make our own bellies into Gods, we're not doing what God is calling us to do.


Today's readings: Jer. 16:10-21; Rom. 7:1-12; John 6:1-15
Elsa is praying the daily readings and praying the news and blogging about it on the weekdays of Lent.
She is reading The Message translation this year.





 

Break Fast Time

Well, just to report the results of my wonderful juice fast, I fasted for a full 10 days, including the last two days in a hurricane.  I juiced a whole bunch of vegetables and fruits before the storm in case I lost power.  I had a pitcher of red juice (beets, carrots, celery, hot peppers and apples), a pitcher of yellow juice (peach, mango, pear and celery) and a giant pitcher of bright green juice (chard, kale, parsley, celery, lemon, ginger, peaches and cucumbers)  These juices lasted for the whole last two days of the fast.  Those days were very relaxing because I didn't have to do any juicing, and all I could do was rest, since Hurricane Irene raging outside.  It turns out that being still, quiet and restful at the end of a fast only brings a deeper awareness of your body and the changes that fasting is bringing.  The fast really sunk in during the hurricane - I recognized both my hunger and my fullness, the changes in my body, the new energy I felt and my gratitude very strongly as the fast came to an end. 

The reason I haven't written this post before is that I was waiting for my internet to be restored after the storm.  I broke the fast last Tuesday at lunch with some beautiful fresh salads at lunch and dinner, and then the next day, I had a soup with beans and pesto in it.  My awareness and appreciation of what I'm eating is still very high almost a week later.  I have not fallen into sloppy eating habits again - at least not yet.  I feel my relationship with food has changed and it is my prayer that I can actively maintain this new relationship rather than fall into my old, mindless (and pretty un-grateful) habits.

My clothes now fit comfortably again and I lost 12 pounds over the course of my fast.  I feel well and strong, in control of my food choices and free of illogical cravings. 

Most of all, I feel very grateful for having so much good, healthy food and clean water available to me.  I hope the experience of fasting will keep me in that place of gratefulness so that I remember not to take these amazing gifts for granted.

And I think I will do it again!  I hope you will give it a try sometime, too.  Advent or Lent are natural times to do some fasting, but anytime is a good time to get in touch with the gift of food and your relationship to it.  Let me know if I can be of help.

A New Twist on an Old Practice

Fasting is an ancient practice.   It has been a part of the Christian tradition since before John the Baptist pointed his finger heavenward and started yelling, "Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord."  Jesus himself fasted for 40 days in the wilderness and often went off alone to fast and pray throughout his ministry.  Fasting has been a part of every major religion - and most minor ones too.  In fact, since August 1 and until the 30th,  faithful Moslems are currently observing the month of Ramadan, in which they have no food and no water at all until the sun goes down each day.   Islam is one faith that hasn't let the practice of fasting fall by the wayside!  I have fasted for a day here and there - often on Good Friday, but I've never really done a prolonged fast, even though I know darn well that they are extremely good for one's physical, mental and spiritual health.

On Thursday, I saw the movie  "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" for the second time.  If you haven't seen this wonderful documentary, I heartily recommend it.  It is the story of an Australian fellow named Joe Cross who decided to take his life back by getting healthier.  The way he does it is to embark on an extended journey across America while also embarking on an extended juice fast.  It's the kind of fast in which the only thing you take in besides water is freshly juiced fruits and vegetables (not prepared juice - you have to make it fresh in a juicer).  So it's not a complete Ghandi-like fast.  You are actually taking in some really good nutrition.  But it's very simple nutrition from veggies and fruits - and no chewing is involved.   You are definitely fasting from eating as we normally know it.

The central message of the movie is that the way to change the world is to change yourself.  And it conveys, in a variety of ways, how as people invite more wellness into their lives, they not only get better themselves, but also invite healing into their communities.  I particularly liked that theme, because this is just what what seems to be emerging here at Grace Church.  We are working toward becoming a gathering place for healing and wellness - not just for our own church members - but for the entire Trumbull community.  We're planning all kinds of events having to do with nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, spiritual practices, etc. in the coming year.  We hope God's healing and wholeness will start here and then move outward from our church like ripples on a pond.

So, I found the movie very uplifting and inspiring.  The first time I saw it, I was inspired by Joe's story.  But the second time I saw it (last Thursday), I was inspired to start a juice fast myself.  Though I've always known - at least with my head - that fasting is an important spiritual discipline, I guess it took this movie to get me to actually DO one.  I guess sometimes God speaks through unlikely channels - even movies with funny names.

So today is the second day of my own 10 day juice fast. As expected, yesterday I had some detox symptoms - fatigue, headache and irritability. I was just darn hungry by the time 4 pm came around.  I faded fast in the evening and went to bed around 7:30 and slept right through until 6:30 this morning.    Some people get some pretty serious detox symptoms for up to 3 days when they do a fast, but I guess I was lucky. Today is my second day, and I feel pretty darn good, my hunger is less bothersome and I am feeling quite satisfied by the juice.  I've been making fruit juices in the morning (this morning I juiced fresh watermelon, cherries, limes and cucumbers.  Delicious!)  and I've had vegetable juices for the rest of the day (yesterday I made a whammo juice with tomatoes, chard, celery and hot peppers - very bracing.)

Why am I doing this?  Well, I have a lot coming up this fall, and I thought it would be a good idea to be at my best - to be clearer and cleaner - to do a "reboot" as they say in the movie. I'm also doing it to lose the 10 -15 pounds I've gained since moving to Trumbull two years ago.  But I think the most important reason is that I'm approaching this as a spiritual discipline.  I'm doing it to empty myself out - like cleaning out a messy closet - so that God can reorder my insides, and fill me with the good things that I haven't been leaving any room for.  I know it'll be a challenge, but I also hope it'll be a great experience.  I'll keep reporting how it's going this week. If all goes as planned, I'll be juice fasting until some time on Monday the 29th. 

 In the meantime, talk to me if you'd like to see the movie - I've got it at my house and I'm happy to watch it again anytime!  Also, let me know if you're interested in doing a juice fast yourself.  I'm happy to help in any way I can.  Let's heal together.