Lenten Reflection 3/11

So last night my family completed our week long "Solidarity Fast".  We limited our food budget for the week to only $4 per person per day, which is what most people on food stamps have to work with.  So last Sunday night we headed off to the grocery store with $112 in hand to buy all our food for the week.  We cleared out the top shelf of the fridge and one corner of the counter top and put all the food we got in those two places.  The rest of the fridge and the pantry were off limits for the week.

I've got to say that we ended up eating plenty of food.  It just was very different food than we normally eat.  I can't say any of us felt hungry, but we didn't always feel satisfied - especially on an emotional level.  As the week went on, we worried a bit that maybe our supplies would run out but this ended up being a groundless fear.  There were plenty of  apples, potatoes and peanut butter - therefore, plenty of calories -  left after Sunday supper.


I read an article last week that advocated that Lenten disciplines should be quite challenging in order to really stir and wake you up.  This fast was challenging.  It was challenging to sit down last Sunday and plan out a list of meals we thought might fit our budget.  It was challenging to shop and match our plans with the reality of how much money we actually had.  It was challenging to be creative with our few ingredients and combine them into unified meals.  It was challenging not having our usual favorite foods and food treats around.  It was most challenging to really feel just a taste of what those who rely on food stamps feel all the time - and to realize that while we experienced it as a challenging fast for a week, for millions of Americans it's not a fast - it's just the day to day reality.

I used to run a restaurant.  I'm good at making a meal out of next to nothing.  I know how to cook wholesome beans and grains from scratch.  As a former holistic health practitioner, I know a lot about nutrition.  I was well equipped to make the most out of this week.  Though the prices were a bit higher, we opted to do all our shopping at the grocery store that is 1/4 mile from our house even though there are cheaper grocery stores further down the road, because having to get supplies locally is part of many people's reality.  We made it work.  But all week I kept thinking about those people who have only some little convenience store nearby where the food is more expensive and less nutritious.  I thought about the people who are working 2 or 3 jobs and don't have time to cook or don't know how to cook or just don't know all that much about nutrition.  What on earth do they end up eating for only $4 a day? 

It was interesting to note that I found myself far more interested in free food opportunities last week than I usually am.  For example, someone brought clementines to my al-anon meeting and I ate 5 of them.  (fresh fruit!) At our vestry retreat, where we were supposed to bring our own lunch, I brought some rice and frozen cauliflower with me (with some of our precious cheese on it - the most costly item we had purchased ) but I was really happy that someone had brought veggie and fruit trays, as well as my favorite kind of potato chips.  There was a potluck lunch at church on Sunday as our unified meals were running out.  I realized how finding free food opportunities is an important part of many people's calculus in making it through the week.

Last night at supper, we talked together about how the experience had been.  The boys claimed that it was really no different than usual except that they got to eat more of what they like - tons of spaghetti.  They got to have the "treat" of having ramen noodles for after school snacks.  They got to have school lunches all week because we figured people on food stamps can get free lunches for their kids.  No healthy bagged lunches, no stupid green smoothies in the morning, no half the plate covered with steamed vegetables in the evening.  From their perspective, they had plenty of food, which is as usual. 

But since they were included in the week's menu planning and shopping they remained well aware of the tally we were keeping on the counter as we used up our last dollars as the week drew to a close.  The boys were the ones most often asking whether I thought we might run out of food.  They did recognize that something was different and it had something to do with feeling confident in your food supply.  They may have said they'd like to eat this way every week, but they missed their meat.  And they missed having pizza at choir rehearsal because we didn't have the $5 per boy to chip in.  We had no desserts in the house.  The food was filling but it was boring, and I'm sure week after week even these pasta hounds would get sick of so much  plain spaghetti with sauce. 

Neither my husband nor I had what we wanted to eat.  As a meat and potato man, Steve didn't get what he most enjoys, nor did he get the portion sizes he usually eats.  He lost weight.  As a gluten free vegetarian, I got plenty of foods I enjoy - split pea soup, bean chili, brown rice, peanut butter.  But this is much heavier fare than I'm used to eating three times a day.  No salads, no healthy smoothies for breakfast, no fresh veggies at all - only frozen, and only apples and a few bananas for fruit (usually slathered in peanut butter!)  I gained weight even though I couldn't afford any gluten free bread or pasta alternatives. 

I think I can speak for both of us when I say we felt our gratitude deepen for our food.  Yes, our calorie levels were definitely affected by this fast, but we were affected most of all by the disruptions we noticed in our emotional and mental attachments to food.  We recognized with stark clarity that we normally simply feel entitled to eat whatever we want whenever we want it.  I normally eat for pleasure, nutrition and taste, and I shop accordingly.  Last week, nutrition took the clear top billing and I had to consider first which items contained the most nutrition per dollar.  Taste came only second and pleasure was hardly an issue.  I made simple, nutritious food.  And we ate when we were hungry - not whenever we felt like enjoying a little something.  And during the fast we felt - literally in the gut - the sad and disturbing fact that thousands of people, even within a small radius of our own home, don't have access to such entitlement. 

When Jesus is in our midst, there is enough food for everyone with plenty left over.  Food is a gift from God and as Jesus' disciples, we are called to feed those who are hungry.  I go back to eating as I usually do today, while people just down the road - or even just around the corner - are eating a bowl of rice or instant oatmeal just to fill their bellies or going to a soup kitchen tonight to eat pasta and day old pastries.  Like the Israelites Jeremiah was warning about the wrath to come - when we make our own bellies into Gods, we're not doing what God is calling us to do.


Today's readings: Jer. 16:10-21; Rom. 7:1-12; John 6:1-15
Elsa is praying the daily readings and praying the news and blogging about it on the weekdays of Lent.
She is reading The Message translation this year.





 

Lenten Reflection 2/26

There's an article in the top news section of the NY Times this morning about a woman who discovered that her husband, a NYC police officer, had been visiting many fetish websites and was involved in online chats in which he and others fantasized repeatedly about brutally torturing and killing women.  In their conversations they would fantasize about real women they actually knew, including the wife.  The wife obviously felt threatened by these chats and reported her husband to the authorities, and now the officer is on trial for plotting to kill a number of women.  There is no evidence that any of the women that this man was accused of plotting to kill were actually kidnapped or harmed.  So at his trial the question being explored is, "When does a fantasized crime become an actual crime?"

One outside expert was quoted as saying that this case "highlights the fact that there are 'dark corners' of the Internet 'where a whole range of illegal and immoral conduct takes place, and the general public has only a vague and fleeting knowledge that these places exist.'  He noted that the Internet, as a medium of expression and communication, also makes it possible for people with interests as benign as stamp collecting or as grisly as cannibalism to find and validate one another in community forums."

In his letter to the Romans this morning, Paul says people often "trade the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand."  The image of worshiping a carved idol, a man-made statue of a personal God instead of bowing down to the one beyond-all-time-and-space-and-knowledge God is a familiar Old Testament image.  Paul reframes it a bit by calling this choice "trading the true God for a fake God," and "worshiping the God you make yourself instead of the God who made you."  Paul says that when you go rogue like that, it is not long before you'll find yourself living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out.

I can't wrap my mind around whether that officer's real conversations with other real men about hurting real women they knew are a real crime or not.  But I think I can quite confidently say that he had certainly gone off to 'worship' a God he'd created himself, rather than honoring the one, unifying God that created and loves us all. 

Today's readings:  Jer. 2:1-13; Rom. 1:16-25; John 4:43-54
Elsa is reading The Message translation this year.

Lenten Reflection 2/14

 

Lenten Reflection - 2/14


 This morning, as I was getting the kids off to school, NPR news was on in the background.  Oscar Pistorius, olympic and paraolympic hero, was reported to have been arrested under suspicion of killing his girlfriend.  My boys looked at each other and they looked at me.  How could I find words for this?  How could an athlete so recently praised as a hero to anyone burdened with limitations (which all of us are, in some way) have fallen so far?

In Lent we are reminded that it doesn't matter how fine your reputation is or how good you are at what you do.  Everyone is broken and therefore prone to sin.  It feels very sad to me to hear that someone I have greatly admired has perhaps been involved in perpetrating domestic violence - a sin I find particularly troubling.  It reminds me once again, as I have been reminded so often lately, that the world is very broken, and that any of us might succumb to our most uncontrollable human weaknesses.

In this morning's reading in Deuteronomy, the Israelites, God's chosen people, are told that "God wasn't attracted to you and didn't choose you because you were big and important - the fact is, there was almost nothing to you. God did it out of sheer love, keeping the promise God made to your ancestors."  (Deut. 7:7,8a)

God can indeed stoop down into our most broken places and free us from slavery to our worst impulses. And "God keeps this covenant of loyal love with those who love God."

Loving our reputations, our possessions, our power, our control, our perceived safety, our own desires or anything else more than loving God and God's good, orderly direction leads to nothing but trouble.  That goes for you, for me, for celebrities, athletes, politicians, kings - Everyone.

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Want to follow along with the daily lectionary readings this Lent?  They can be found HERE. Scroll down to the section that is headed Daily Office and Daily Eucharistic Lectionary to find the readings for each day.