Enjoying My Day

Here is an actual conversation that took place in my mind this morning as I was running along the rail trail:

Ooh, look!  Pretty flowers!  I wish I had my camera.

Oh, I do have a camera on my cell phone.

I can't stop, though, I've got to run.  The 5K is coming up and I've got to train.

But they probably won't be so pretty next time I come.

The cell phone doesn't take great pictures, and I've got so much to do to get ready for Holy Week.  I've got to get my run in and get home.

Oh for heaven's sake.  I can take a minute to stop and take a picture.  Who am I?  Joan Benoit?  I can stop for a minute.

So, to make a long story short, after much arguing with myself I did stop, and took several pictures of the beautiful wildflowers coming up through the dry leaves, the sun shining on them just right.  And unfortunately, it is true, my cell phone does not take pictures as well as my camera, so the photo above does no justice to the beautiful sight.  But as I was taking pictures and enjoying the flowers, I was also enjoying the sound of the river below, rushing and tumbling over the rocks because of recent rains.  I was enjoying the feel of the soft breeze and the spring sunshine on my face.  I enjoy my walks and runs on the trail, but after taking a minute to slow down enough to really enjoy my surroundings, when I resumed my run I enjoyed it all the more.  I wondered why I'd been so reluctant to stop and enjoy the flowers.

There is a helpful pamphlet called "Just for Today" that suggests that today I save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.  Indecision has never been much of an issue for me.  But hurry - well - this morning was a good example of how that pest can sometimes nag at me and rob me of the enjoyment I could choose in my day.  At the moment I consciously recognized that I had allowed that pesky pest hurry to get a toehold in me this morning, and realized that I had managed to save myself from it by stopping to enjoy the flowers, I looked up the hill and noticed this:

It was a face someone had nailed on a dead tree halfway up the hill to the side of the trail.  If I'd still been in such a hurry with my running I never would have noticed it.  In that smiling tree I saw evidence that someone had recently done something for no reason other than just having some fun.  Here was evidence that someone had chosen to enjoy their day, just like I had.

By the time I was almost back to my car, I felt as if I'd been on a mini vacation - all before 7:30 am.  I really, really enjoyed my run.  And as if to cap off the lesson I was given in the woods, I ran by a trout fisherman heading toward the river with his pole.  Now that I was in such a light and happy mood, I said to him, "I hope you catch a fish!"

He answered, "It's such a beautiful day, it doesn't matter if I catch one or not!  Enjoy your day!"

Seeing Myself as Others See Me

So, just recently we started videotaping our sermons and posting them on the website.  This is a good thing, but I've got to adjust to having myself projected on the small screen.  I remember, as a kid, hearing my tape recorded voice for the first time and being amazed at how different my voice sounded from the way I heard it inside my own head.  "Is that really how I sound?" I asked incredulously.  Sure - of course - was the answer.  Wow, I didn't soud at all like I think I sounded.

This discomfort has now all been taken up a notch for me with these videos.  Do I really look like that?  That is not how I picture myself in my own head.  Do I really blink that much?  Is my voice really that sharp?  Are my nose and teeth really that big?  And for that matter, is my neck really that scrawny? 

Some people look in the mirror and see nothing but flaws and imperfections - even magnifying them and imagining them larger and more pronounced than they really are. 

Some people look in the mirror and overlook their flaws - moving into a place of denial about what they could improve. 

What I would like to do is to look at the mirror (or at the videos) and embrace what I see with love, not magnifying my flaws or ignoring my shortcomings.  Despite my own initial negative reaction, I need to remind myself that everyone who has met me sees me the way I look on the videos.  No one thinks there's anything "wrong" with how I look or sound.  It's just how I look and sound!  Since so far no one has run screaming, so I guess it must not be all that bad.  I am simply an average bear.  Oh bother.  I guess this is just another thing to put in the God box!

O God, by whom the meek are guided in judgment, and light rises up in darkness for the godly: Grant us, in all our doubts and uncertainties, the grace to ask what you would have us do, that the Spirit of wisdom may save us from all false choices, and that in your light we may see light, and in your straight path may not stumble; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Babies in Church

Today we had two new babies in church - a 6 week old and a 9 month old.  They both made joyful noise at the most appropriate places.  The younger baby slept for most of the service, but woke up and cried a hungry cry at the pinnacle of the Eucharistic Prayer.  Obviously he'd heard the invitation to partake in spiritual food!  The older baby seemed always to exclaiming "Amen!" at very appropriate places throughout the service.  I loved his enthusiasm - and actually, sometimes I wish that proper adult Episcopalians would be that enthusiastic about the sermon and the prayers.

Babies add a different energy to a group of people, and our congregation was practically giddy with excitement in having babies among us today.  I lost count of how many people said something like, "It's so wonderful to hear babies in church!"

It may be the middle of Lent, but it felt like the nativity on Christmas morning at Grace Church today.